Five of the silliest, weirdest, and ugliest pieces of FNAF merch cover image

Five of the silliest, weirdest, and ugliest pieces of FNAF merch

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Five Nights at Freddy’s is a franchise that, let’s just say, embraces silliness. Though it may have started with menacing killer animatronics haunted by the souls of murdered children, that doesn’t stop the series from having a little fun. That’s especially true when you look at the merch for FNAF, which truly hosts some of the most cursed merch from any video game series. 

Here are five of the silliest, most hated, and weirdest pieces of official Five Nights at Freddy’s merch.

A mug only a mother could (maybe) love

The 3D molded character mugs are pretty easy pickings for ugly merch, but there’s something striking about this particular Chica mug. This piece of FNAF history is, sadly, no longer available for purchase on the Hot Topic website. 

Only $18.90! (Image via hottopic.com)
Only $18.90! (Image via hottopic.com)

So why is her face like that? Why are her eyebrows so luxuriously thick? Why does she look like she’s about to ask me if there are any games on my phone?

O Doug, my Doug!

If you aren’t aware, Doug is the breakout character from the hit Five Nights at Freddy’s movie. Who is Doug? Only the man that stole the heart of every FNAF fan in only two scenes. And, oh boy, did the merch makers notice. 

Yes indeed, this is official merch coming from YouTooz. Doug now has his very own 3D figure, as seen in the scene when he sits in a meeting and looks around a little bit. Perhaps they’ll even make a figure of the scene when he sits in a meeting (at a restaurant!) and looks around a little bit.

USA, USA, USA!

When thinking of America’s most resplendent and formidable patriots, you may conjure mental images of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, or Franklin D. Roosevelt. Well, you’re wrong.

It’s Freddy Fazbear.

Gaze upon his stately image alongside the iconic stars and stripes. He exudes the American spirit. In fact, according to one review, this shirt was life changing.

A Fazbear enthusiast sharing their thoughts (Image via target.com)
A Fazbear enthusiast sharing their thoughts (Image via target.com)

These shirts are available on the Target website. Strangely enough, they aren’t sold in stores. Weird.

The OG most-hated FNAF merch

When Five Nights at Freddy’s was first hitting the mainstream and merch was just starting to hit the shelves, one plushie in particular caught the ire of fans. In 2016, Funko released the Toy Bonnie 6” Plush and people were not happy. Most fans seem to think that the biggest flaw is that the plush simply looks too goofy.

Stop bullying him, guys (Image via amazon.com)
Stop bullying him, guys (Image via amazon.com)

The inclusion of this plush on the list is not a condemnation of the plush, which does a fine enough job. It is being included simply because it is still funny, eight years after release, how much fans still hate this poor plushie. 

A wide range of Funko figures

This final entry is kind of cheating, as it includes a few different figures from the same manufacturer. There are too many ridiculous figures to not add in here. 

Most notable is the Liberty Chica figure, which you may have seen littering the toy aisle at Walmart. This is probably because absolutely no one wants a figure of Chica dressed as the Statue of Liberty, slack-jawed in a sickly shade of green. 

Thank you, Capitalism, for this gift (Image via walmart.com)
Thank you, Capitalism, for this gift (Image via walmart.com)

She came alongside another Fourth of July figure, Firework Freddy, who starred in a fair number of TikToks singing the national anthem.

Another fan favorite is the moldy cheese, I mean, “Tie-Dye” Springtrap figure. He always comes back, but hopefully not looking like this. 

STINKY! (Image via walmart.com)
STINKY! (Image via walmart.com)

With over a decade of merch accumulating from one of the quirkiest video game series, this amount of weird stuff is no surprise. Especially when it seems that FNAF fans really will buy any merch with their favorite bear, bunny, chicken, and fox plastered on the front. (I'm one of them.)

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